IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the past, important knowledge of culture and history was stored in museum. Nowadays information is freely available on internet, therefore is no longer need for museum. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#culture #history #museum #information #internet
Museums store the traditions and history of our ancestors. As a lot of
information
 regarding
this
 is already available online, some people believe that museums should not exist anymore.
However
, I entirely disagree with
this
 notion because museums allow
one
 to watch in person the belongings of famous people from the past and enable us to learn more about their lives.
To begin
 with, museums open the doors
to
Suggestion
in
 the past because they contain in them the essential and special things of our ancestors. By visiting
one
,
one
 can actually see the things used by them and store them in their mind. The items seen in person have
huge impact
Suggestion
a huge impact
 on
one
 than the ones seen in
images
Suggestion
the images
.
Therefore
, they can motivate
one
 to learn more about their ancestors.
For instance
, National Museum of Lahore has in it the belongings of Mughal Emperors. So,
one
 can vividly imagine how our elders spent their lives, what were their interests and much more.
Although
 the online media has all the
information
of
Suggestion
about
 the past and our culture,
one
 can only see the images without touching them actually. When
one
 touches them it gives special feelings regarding their users and makes
one
 emotional which is highly unlikely by just viewing the images, and it creates a special and a stronger bond of
one
 with their elders who are not physically with them anymore.
More over
in addition
Moreover
, as
their
in or at that place
there
 is plenty of
information
 available on the internet,
one
 struggles with identifying the real
information
 because false
information
 is
also
 there.
Hence
, visiting the museum can never be replaced by just reading about it online. To conclude, even though
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 is an easily available and free way of getting
information
 about
one
's past and culture, it cannot replace the sentiments attached
with
Suggestion
to
 visiting the museums in person and it cannot allow
one
 to
phsyically
in accord with physical laws
physically
 handle things.
Submitted by chmanasa8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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