IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The Internet when used as a source of information, has more drawbacks than advantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#internet #source #information
There is no doubt these days
internet
 is playing a major role in our lives.
However
, the question
: Is
Add a missing verb
is, Is
show examples
 the usage of the
internet
information
 as
source
Correct article usage
a source
show examples
 affecting our lives? Is considered one of the most controversial issues today. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I am going to examine
the
Remove the article
apply
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both viewpoints. On one side of the
argument
Add a comma
argument,
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 there were
people
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
show examples
 that the benefits considerably
outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighed
show examples
 the disadvantages. The main reason for believing that the
internet
 has all the articles and the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
done by different organizations and researchers up to date. A good illustration of that the
people
 at home simply can search for anything with less effort and money and they can put it in their paper or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
share it with other
people
. It is possible to say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 can find many
sources
 on the
internet
 up to date as well the old
sources
. A particular good example of that searching
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
sources
 at your
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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 time better than
you have
Wrong verb form
having
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fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
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 time to read an article or book, so the
internet
 makes our life easy.
Moreover
, It is
also
 possible to consider it with
opposing
Correct article usage
an opposing
show examples
 case, It is often
people
 argued that since there are lots of
hacker
Change to a plural noun
hackers
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 days it makes it difficult to rely on websites that we do not know their reliability. It is often argued that because the recent statistic shows a high percentage of hacking.
In addition
, anyone can open a website and publish any
information
 they want, so we do not
this
information
 is true or false. We have seen there are no easy answers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that we need to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
actual published articles as
sources
 of our
information
 rather than writing a paper with fake
information
 that might somebody take
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as
Correct article usage
a sources
show examples
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
 of
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
information
.
Submitted by weccsi on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks specific examples to support the points effectively. Additionally, the response could be more comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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