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Band 3.5

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.
#bar #difficulties #people #move #country #people’s #ages
Now a day so many
people
 want to go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.Some
people
interest
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
 to study
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
 others desired to travel, perhaps
business
Change preposition
for business
show examples
 or like that.
According
Add the preposition
toAccording
show examples
 world population agency one hundred million
people
 travel each year.Approximately
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is
popular
Add an article
a popular
the popular
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 average of
people
.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 children
also
 want to visit
popular
Add an article
a popular
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
such
 as America, Europe, Canada, China and so on.It is too dangerous
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
person who
under
Add a missing verb
is under
show examples
 eighteen years old.Despite of
this
 American figures organised
flex
Correct article usage
a flex
show examples
 programme.The programme
especially
Add a missing verb
is especially
show examples
 for pupils,but participants must be
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 and
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
 at school
also
age
Add an article
the age
an age
show examples
 of these sixteen to eighteen others can not be
Add an article
a participant
the participant
show examples
participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
show examples
. The difficulties when you come
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
country
.
Firstly
 you do not know addresses , roads and so on.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 problem is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because you are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the accomodation's
show examples
accomodation's
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodation's
 fees and
comfortablity
Correct your spelling
comfortability
comfortably
.
Third
Add a comma
,Third
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 would be
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 if you do not know
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 language, but it is not
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 issue.If the trip is first for you so you should prepare for all
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
people
's ages
also
 impact a person.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 I think elder
people
are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
show examples
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
country
.They
care
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 only
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
 health.And for middle
people
 are not hard to be
another
Change preposition
on another
show examples
 part of
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
.They have experience from life.And they always know all ways how to avoid when they meet some difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 teenagers and students go to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
country
for
Change preposition
to
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 study.The most
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 feel students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do not have much money,
therefore
 they should work to survive, to pay for university or college tuition.In conclusion to go to another
country
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 so easy.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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