Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with?

There is no doubt that teenage is where a child learns habits for life.
While
some argue that family plays an important role in influencing children, I believe
friends
have the most impact on an individual's life.
Firstly
, young adults spend most of their day with
friends
.
This
is because they spent
a
Correct article usage
the
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majority of their day in schools, extracurricular classes, and playing with
friends
.
For instance
, a kid goes to school for eight hours, and adding classes and playing time, makes it up to ten hours
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
with
friends
.
This
results in spending only a few hours with family. All
this
time, they are communicating with
friends
and learning new skills.
Furthermore
, teenagers learn relatively quickly compared to adults. So any behaviour by their
friends
leaves a lasting influence.
Secondly
, these days, there is a huge social pressure in friend circles.
In other words
, people want to be accepted in the
group
. They tend to behave like the
group
, regardless of the consequences.
For example
, if a person smokes, the
non smokers
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non-smokers
show examples
are likely to pick up that habit. If a young adult does not align themselves with the
group
, they face bullying
,
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apply
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or the danger of being kicked out of the circle.
In addition
, in a friend circle where some students score high on an exam, the
other
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others
show examples
also
work hard to keep up with their
friends
.
In contrast
, if some people in a
group
perform poorly in exams, others
also
looses
Verb problem
lose
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motivation and
scores
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score
show examples
less. In conclusion, with more time being spent with
friends
, and the social pressure nowadays, young adults get highly influenced by their
friends
rather than family.

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task response
You should provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is well-organized, but the introduction and conclusion can be more developed and impactful.
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