Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #person #support

When the

prisoners

have fulfilled their

conviction

Fix the agreement mistake

convictions

show examples

, the government will let them

freed

Add a missing verb

be freed

show examples

However

, many inhabitants said that

although

prisoners

have been freed, they will still have a chance to commit some

criminals

Replace the word

crimes

show examples

This

essay firmly does not agree with

this

notion and will state the reasons.

To begin

with, the primary reason why ex-

prisoners

will not commit any violence is that their heart is full of the feel of

regretful

Replace the word

regret

show examples

According to

some research, missing their family is the most significant pressure for the

prisoners

. Because some of them probably think that their families will not receive them again.

Furthermore

, the

prisoners

will not want to taste the

ambiance

Change the spelling

ambience

show examples

of prison again because their surroundings are full of

criminals

Thus

come

Wrong verb form

coming

show examples

back to

penitentiary

Correct article usage

the penitentiary

show examples

is the worst thing for the

criminals

Moreover

, a decision from the government cannot be in vain

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

criminals

. People who have been in the cell for the second time will get a more stringent punishment

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than formerly.

Therefore

, they will not commit any

criminals

Replace the word

crimes

show examples

again and start to think about some jobs that are sufficient for them. For smart

prisoners

, they will utilize their time in jail to plan what they want to do when they are free.

Thus

, it is not impossible for a prisoner to become a rich man with a good job. In conclusion,

although

there are some ex-

prisoners

still

Correct pronoun usage

who still

show examples

do bratty things, the chance for the

criminals

to change is more leading because they do not want to humiliate their family and

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a lengthy penitential time again.

Submitted by devil181818181818 on Mon Apr 13 2020

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task response

Improve the clarity of the response to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a clear, logical structure and consistency in ideas throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The two plans show Pancha village in 2005 and 2015. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons when necessary.

People are staying more and more at home, these days. What are the causes and effects.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

The bar chart details average daily sales by total number of servings at a restaurant according to season.

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in our daily lives. Despite warning many people do not pay attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?