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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

#celebrities #money
The rapid expansion of the entertainment industry has completely switched the economies of some countries
such
 as the
united kingdom
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
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, Korea,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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united states
Correct your spelling
United States
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.
While
 people vehemently
outcry
Verb problem
argue
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 that these entertainers are
just
Rephrase
apply
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simply overpaid, what they receive is not commensurate with their talents. I strongly disagree with that statement. In my view,
celebrities
 deserve a high income. First of all, it is clear to see that" fame has a price" means that they have to give a lot of time and relentless training effort in the hope of shining moments in the limelight.
for instance
, a Korean pop star named Lalisa Manoban is an obvious example. she is the one who spent at least 13 hours to practise to prove that she deserved to debut among 1000 trainees.
Besides
, their money earned is not wholly theirs. They have to pay for advertising, stage expenses, and profit-sharing for their company. Another good point is that
celebrities
 have strong determination and hard work to obtain immense success, especially when they are recognized by the public and obtain great achievements
On the other hand
, they have to pay a lot of money for security
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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. Even if they are rich, they can be threatened by thieves
disturb
Correct pronoun usage
who disturb
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 or even destroy their lives.
Furthermore
,
celebrities
additionally
 have to pay
pretty
Rephrase
much
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 higher taxes than other jobs. In the United States, famous stars have to pay 40% tax
from
Change preposition
on
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 their income,
that is
such
 a big number.
To sum up
, I believe that
celebrities
are appropriately
Wrong verb form
should
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 be paid far more money for their dedication and effort, every occupation is equal, so their diligence should be respected
Submitted by dgiang930 on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a balanced argument with supporting evidence for both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.
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