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Band 7.5

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#adults #exercise #think #people #lives #events #olympics #world #cup
The adults do less interest in
exercise
 nowadays. Still, some insist that sporting events
such
 as the Olympic or the World Cup can be encouraged people to
support
 a healthy lifestyle.
In contrast
, others think that there are various better ways to inspire adults to
exercise
. I'm afraid to disagree with the statement because they're burning up to
support
 them, not to encourage themselves to do sports.
This
 essay will explain why I'm afraid I have to disagree with the proportion and state my opinion in the end.
First
, it defines that the Olympic and the World Cup are a big event for everybody. During these events, an enormous advertisement promotes every athlete, and people get influenced more by these commercials. And it is that an enthusiasm toward to
support
 them, not as giving a motivation for doing sports. As a matter of fact, the survey has done by the Japanese's TV that how often do you go to a gym or do some
exercise
 after these competitions, it revealed that the events stimulate 60 percent of younger generations, but just 20 percent of older ages prompt to do some training.
Therefore
, these events can stimulate people to
support
 them, but cannot encourage older people to make do some sports enough. The reason why adults less keen in sports is due to lack of spending time for
fitness
. The most their daily is occupied by work and commuting, so they are so busy with work that they hardly have a time to do some activities. As a solution about the issue, companies should open
fitness
 area in the office, and they can do some training while the employees have free time.
For example
, The apple company has a
fitness
 in a workforce in every branch all over the world.
Hence
, the employers play a crucial role in increasing workers to take part in
exercise
 activities. In conclusion, there are many ways to motivate people to stay healthy and fit. Holding a competition could slightly stimulate people to do
fitness
, but throwing a campaign
such
 as make an order to build a
fitness
 area on each of the workforce is more efficient to encourage people to do activities.
Submitted by 室谷寛樹 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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