IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. how do you think this had changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #had #work
Nowadays, it is hard to
work
 without the help of technological appliances. Those gadgets bring lots of advantages to us that improving our working efficiency.
Nevertheless
, with the convenience of technology, there are some drawbacks in terms of over depending on it. The up-to-date appliances have totally transformed a company’s working style and brought many benefits.
Firstly
, computers have more functions and cutting-edge equipment. Employees can enhance their working speed.
Secondly
, it is more convenient to contact with customers and colleagues by email, message, or skype. Those are dramatically decreasing the waiting
time
 between them.
Lastly
, there is no distance through the video call. It is easy to hold a video conference without the limit of border and
time
. Global organizations or companies are received positive impacts from it.
On the other hand
, some adverse effects developing with the technology
also
. There is no private
time
. Sometimes, workers still receive messages from their customers or managers when they are off
work
 or on holiday. It will increase the stress for them and form a culture of working overtime.
Besides
, it is harder to focus on their
work
 result from different kinds of notice including messages, emails, or even social media.
This
 will reduce the efficiency and quality of
work
. At the same
time
, people will lose the negotiation skill and social ability. Those cause negative effects on the companies and employees.
Submitted by a2993241 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: