Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #children #point

In recent times,

parents

have relented in the manner by which they discipline their wards. The dialogue on whether or not to punish

children

has led to polarized views.

Although

, some individuals believe

children

should be dealt with when they misbehave so as to teach them morals, others are of a contrary

opinion

. In my view, I vehemently agree with the

opinion

that kids should be taught good behaviours by punishing them

accordingly

because it makes them be of good

characters

Fix the agreement mistake

character

show examples

. On the one hand, some people say

children

should not be punished,

instead

, they should be praised and rewarded which will not bring the

children

to the realization of the negative impacts of their grievous acts.

This

due to

the fact that no measure was taken by their

parents

to rebuke them thereby leading to criminality in the future. To buttress, a study was conducted in a prison in Nigeria around 2018, it was deduced that 85% of inmates were not adequately penalized by their

parents

when they were younger.

However

this

is not a good approach because of its negative end result.

On the other hand

, many individuals including myself

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that reprimanding a child is better as it makes the ward to be well-mannered.

This

is because they will always remember vividly the effects of the previous punishment they had and desist from unpleasant characters.

For instance

, when I was still a teenager, I fought with one of my friends in school, and when the school authority reported

Correct pronoun usage

it to

show examples

parents

, I was severely beaten and ever since

then

, I developed a phobia for fighting. From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that punishment makes

children

have good manners and I strongly agree with

this

view.

To sum up

, a reasonable amount of people are of the

opinion

that punishing

children

is the best way to imbibe good behaviours in them,

while

others disagree. In my

opinion

, disciplining them is the best approach to teach them to behave well, as it makes them have good morals.

Submitted by Ishola Busayo on Sat Jun 05 2021

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coherence cohesion

You should provide a clear and concise introduction, followed by logically structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea with clear topic sentences.

task achievement

Make sure to address the task fully by discussing both views thoroughly before providing your own opinion. Supporting details and examples should be evenly distributed across both perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

About physical exercise, some people prefer to exercise in a fitness center, while others prefer outdoor activities, choose one of them and argue about it.

ln the future, it seems it would be more difficult to live in the North. Some people think more money should be spent researching other panels to live such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The internet was probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?