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Band 7.5

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#populations #cities #people #homes #space #development
In recent times, overpopulation in cities causes a variety of problems related to the properties where
people
 live, and one of the trends to make outdoor
space
 or remove it at all is getting higher nowadays. As far as I am concerned,
this
 tendency has a detrimental impact on humanity for reasons that I provide below.
First
 of all, reducing or removing open-air
space
 in the accommodation discourages
people
 from being physically active
therefore
 it leads to some cardiovascular diseases. Especially
this
 time, due to the pandemic
people
 tend to stay at home more time, and with lack of opportunity to breathe fresh air outside the immune system is more likely to decline. There are so many researches that provide us with information of necessity to do exercises on open-air every day in order to support the resilience of one’s immune system.
Secondly
, deprivation of outdoor area makes daily bases inconvenient thereby it forces
people
 to struggle with additional problems
such
 as searching for places where they can entertain their children,
for example
. At
this
 point,
people
 get anxious about the inevitable situation that can affect relationships. In summary, reducing or removing the open-air
space
 of the house can solve issues about lack of
space
 in general, but on the other side, it brings more serious problems to human lives
such
 as illnesses and mental disorders. I believe that there are some other solutions for
this
 issue with lack of
space
 aside from removing open-air area and I totally disagree with
this
 tendency.
Submitted by info on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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