Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

#students #job #money #university #students’ #life #balance #work #study #future #generation #level

Nowadays,

undergraduate

Fix the agreement mistake

undergraduates

show examples

have the tendency to work in a part-time position for earning money during the studying

process

in the academy. Many people believe that it can bring negative effects on the unbalancing between the study and work.

This

essay aims to discuss the consequences that

students

can take if they cannot balance both of these and give some solutions to cope with its problems. The bad performance is the element that can be caused

firstly

this

circumstance. The unbalancing between work and study means that they cannot focus perfectly on their businesses. As the result, less performance in their job is inevitable and it will harm their career path.

Nevertheless

, the bad outcome is

also

a consequence that these

students

have to face if

this

situation persists.

In addition

, the unbalancing between studying and working

process

also

takes their health into consideration in the unexpected consequence. These

students

can be meet with the problem of overload if they try to do both well while their ability is limited.

This

concern makes them neglected themselves and brings the feeling of overwhelming. It can lead to their mental break out

that is

not rare to see in society nowadays, especially with university

students

. In conclusion, the lack of professional managing and balancing in the working and studying

process

can cause numerous consequences in both performance and health.

However

, it is undeniable the benefit of a part-time job during the university student’s life. It can bring money as well as practice when

undergraduate

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undergraduates

show examples

apply

Change the verb form

applies

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the knowledge that they learn in

academy

Add an article

the academy

show examples

to reality. The government and university have the responsibility in

this

situation to restrict some affordable policies to limit the working time as well as the education system. That not only have

students

can take advantage of working, but it

also

helps reduce distraction during the studying

process

Submitted by duyanhoppa1706 on Sat Aug 28 2021

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such as
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to the University. Others say that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or managing money) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?