Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #difference #earnings

Few

people

believe that improving the income of poor

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can make a difference in

society

. Whether it is poor or rich

people

, everybody should be treated equally in

society

. I agree with the statement and will discuss the reason in my forthcoming essay.

Firstly

, crime is one of the major issues of our

society

. When there is a huge difference between the pay of rich and poor, it leads towards jealousy and hatred.

People

use to steal things which they don't have in their lives.

For instance

, in developing ,countries

people

are still below the poverty line. The overall comparison between

people

can tend towards doing wrong things.

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

the ability of thinking is

also

compromised due to less payment poor

people

get.

Thus

, money matters for a better community as well.

Secondly

, education is another type of issue which poor

people

have to face. While their wages are less, they are unable to send their kids to high standard schools. It is evident that if the young generation could get a better study it would bring peace and prosperity in the world.

Furthermore

, better kids will make our world better by becoming more successful in their respective careers.

On the other hand

, increasing income could make

people

lazy and will start living life comfortably. It is necessary for everyone to do work and contribute their work to

society

Thus

, it can be possible that the work situation will be changed. Everyone will be relaxed and

this

will bring hindrance in completing some of the important tasks. To conclude, an increase in income could make a world better with less crime and the education system will

also

be improved.

Submitted by swatisnh09 on Fri Feb 25 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

280 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?

Some educationalists say that international school exchange visits will benefit all teenage school students. Do the advantages of this program outweigh the disadvantages?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem knowledge or experience

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?