IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Developments on science and technology have caused environmental problems. Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment, while others believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#developments #science #technology #people #life #environment
The bar chart demonstrates the proportion of businesses making
e-commerce
purchases
 by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. These industries include Manufacturing, construction, wholesale, retail and information and communications.
Firstly
,
e-commerce
purchases
 in three categories (construction,wholesale, and retail) increased consistently to approximately 57 per
cent
 in
this
 five-year period. In construction,
for instance
, about a 30 per
cent
 increase can be seen.
This
 number for wholesale was about 20 per
cent
 and for ,retail it was about 25 per
cent
.
Secondly
, we can see a slight growth in the proportion of businesses making
e-commerce
purchases
 in information and communications.
However
,
this
 growth does not seem to be significant.
Lastly
, in manufacturing, we can see that
this
 proportion fluctuated. It started with a significant growth in 2016 followed by a slight fall in 2017 and from 2017 onwards, it rose gradually. To conclude, Given the current information, it seems like these four industries are making more
e-commerce
purchases
.
Submitted by tsp10majidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: