Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#governments #attempt #festivals #revenue #people #money #programmes

These days, the level of vices has increased substantially . In

this

essay, I will discuss some of the causes of

this

problem and

also

suggest some solutions on how to tackle it.

Firstly

, one of the main causes of crime is unemployment. When

people

are unemployed , they tend to engage in unlawful acts in order to earn a living. To illustrate, a person who has no job

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will most likely be involved in stealing and armed robbery for survival. To solve

this

problem , the government should embark on a massive job creation.

People

who are engaged meaningfully are less likely to commit offence . To demonstrate,

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

survey by the Delta State Bureau of Statistics found that 80% of respondents admitted to

have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

committed an offence at least once when they

jobless

Add a missing verb

were jobless

show examples

than when they were not. Notwithstanding, if the rate of

crimes

Fix the agreement mistake

crime

show examples

is still rising despite the availability of jobs ,

then

unemployment is not a cause of

this

problem.

Secondly

, another cause of rising criminal activities is laziness. Some

people

are not interested in doing legal jobs , but they would want to rely

Add the preposition

upon

show examples

illegal ways of getting quick money

such

as drug trafficking.

For instance

, The Times recently reported that 26% of

people

who are idle would prefer to acquire wealth through unlawful and quick means. To tackle

this

issue, the government should set up a nationwide awareness campaign, sensitizing the public on the importance of doing lawful

businesses

Fix the agreement mistake

business

show examples

Also

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in businesses that are against the law, might be prosecuted and if found guilty, will be sent to prison. In conclusion ,

although

a variety of problems are responsible for the rise in criminal activities, these problems are not insurmountable. In my view, it is

government ’s

Correct article usage

the government ’s

show examples

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

to deal with these challenges, and they should begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.

Submitted by alancykam on Wed Aug 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your essays?

Submit an unlimited number of essays. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

319 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

Unlock the Full Potential of Writing9

Unlimited Essay Checks: Practice and perfect your skills.
Detailed Error Analysis: Spot every mistake.
In-Built Grammar Checker: Say no to grammatical errors.
Personalized Suggestions: Know how to boost your score.
Progress Tracking: View your checked essay history.
Still thinking? We have a 14-day money-back guarantee. Take a leap of faith!

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Being a useful member of society is a concept which should be tought to children either by parents or school. Some people consider parents responsibilities to do it, while others think school is in the place to teach suitable manner to children I discuss on this topic in this essay and finally represent my own viewpoint. Since their birthday, parents are responsible people for breeding their children until starting education at school for 6 years. According to psychology science, this period makes real personality of children . Therefore, teaching suitable manner to children is considered as significant duty of parents who have brought their children on the earth. Personality of a human determines his/her manners. so, any bad behavior of parents results in personality disorder of children. Parents should teach good behavior to their children to be a good member of society . there are many ways for them to do this duty. For example, parents should encourage their children to like th...
6.5
band
What are advantages and disadvantage of use social networking? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience
In the cutting-edge era, there have promoted offline and online ways of social networking for a few decades. This tendency leads to the contribution of different age groups people support in need and compose their social bonding. In contrast, one major disadvantage is unrealistic interaction online. This essay will outline the pros and cons development of using social networking and expound on both reasons.
6.5
band
Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?
Many companies spend thousands of dollars on advertisements to encourage people to purchase their materials. Although selling products is forcing people to consume unimportant items ,especially parents, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because it helps sell their products faster.
4.5
band
Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is sometimes argued that environment-related issues better tackle globally, however, there are those who assume that it should be dealt in a national level. I strongly believe that, by global cooperation, the environmental degradation problem could be tackled more effectively and comprehensively. First, this essay will discuss solving the issue nationally because of the difference of problems, and secondly, will analyze the lack of resources as the biggest reason for worldwide collaboration.
4
band
Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.
Nowadays, it is a fact that some of the languages has gradually disappeared due to the level of its difficulty or the dropping in the number of its users. In this case, surely there are huge benefits to the world even though some people would argue that it is destroying the uniqueness of each country and its own ancient culture.

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

What are advantages and disadvantage of use social networking? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.