IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional
increase
 in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In
this
 contemporary epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that rich countries cannot make their citizens pleased easily and they are not in a nice position, I am of the belief that the public feels pleased with any
increase
 in their country as they have their right in equally way. My convention will be explained. On the one hand, despite disagreeing that people do not get satisfied as they have everything, some advocates believe that any growth in salaries or other
life
 materials helps families to live better.
This
 means that when parents get an
increase
 in their salary, they can buy things that they could not afford earlier.
For example
, when Brazil planted some beans which returned to coffee and that made them richer than before and it helped their citizens significantly.
Hence
, what can be said is that any
increase
 in the means of living, even in a small way, affects positively
life
.
Nevertheless
, opponents and I are convinced that any rise in the country can transform families' lives as some big countries have poor people.
In other words
, when Governments get extra money to spend on institutions like hospitals, parks and schools, they are creating finer
life
. To illustrate, Switzerland is one of the richest in the world but
this
 did not make its individuals less satisfied with any
increase
 in salaries as
life
 has become so expensive.
Hence
, developed peoples know the importance of development and money, and
that is
 what keeps them at the forefront. In conclusion, after
this
 essay has manifested the abovementioned points, it can be reiterated that even though some individuals do not feel satisfied with anything, other people already do.
Therefore
, I am convinced that there anyone feels happy with any the
increase
.
Submitted by amer.ebtsam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: