IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#crime #attack #poverty #lack #opportunities #police #street #people #prison
The rate of crime has increased in the past times. And indeed, we need to aid the causes of it by taking some effective measures.
However
, merely having more police appointed on the roads and throwing more
people
 into prisons is not enough, and
therefore
, I cannot entirely agree with the statement; and essay will discuss what policies government should introduce to increase the awareness of ethical and moral values and in what ways schools can contribute to the cause. To start with, political administrations should come up with measures in return for
this
 cause, like formulating policies which reserve the employment of the underprivileged.
Additionally
, they can develop campaigns that provide
people
 with awareness about moral and ethical values and the consequences of crime.
Moreover
, free education should be provided to the unprivileged.
For Instance
, I am associated with a non-profit organization, which raises funding and utilizes it on the above-mentioned causes, and many favourable changes have been seen in their behaviour and lifestyle. Apart from the aforementioned
Correct your spelling
reasons
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
, schools can play a vital role in driving children's behaviour from their very foundation. Mandatory classes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 moral and ethical science should be held either on a daily basis or alternatively. It will help children to differentiate between right and wrong deeds. To illustrate that, in primary school, we used to have free classes, where teachers used to recite moral stories, and as an assignment, they asked us to help five
people
 in a day, upon which the teacher provided us with grades. In a nutshell, placing more police on the road and throwing
people
 in prison is not merely going to aid. Until and unless the government policies and schools' course of action does not come into the picture.
Submitted by ARSHDEEP KAUR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: