In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The rate of crime has evidently increased in the past times. And surely we need to aid its causes by taking some effective measures.
However
, merely having more police appointed on the roads and incarcerating more
people
is not enough, and
Correct your spelling
therefore
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, I certainly disagree with the
Correct your spelling
statement
satement
Correct your spelling
statement
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
furthermore
,
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
will discuss what policies
should
Correct article usage
the should
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
introduce and increase the awareness of ethical and moral
Correct your spelling
values
valuesn
Correct your spelling
values
to aid the cause.
Firstly
, political administration should come up with measures in return
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
cause, like formulating policies, which reserve the employment of
underprivileged
Correct article usage
the underprivileged
show examples
,
Additionally
, they can formulate campaigns, which will provide awareness to the
people
about moral and ethical values and the consequences of crime.
Moreover
, free education can be provided to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unprivileged
people
with no barrier to age.
For Instance
, I am associated with a non-profit organization, which raises
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
funding and
utilize
Correct subject-verb agreement
utilizes
show examples
it on the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
cause, and many favourable changes have been seen in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
behaviour and lifestyle. Apart from the
afore-mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
show examples
Correct your spelling
reasons
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
,
schools'
Correct your spelling
schools
show examples
can play a vital role in driving behaviour of the children from their very foundation. Mandatory classes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
moral and ethical science should be held either on daily basis or alternatively.
This
will help children to differentiate between right and wrong deeds. To illustrate that, in primary school, I used to have free classes, where
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
used to recite moral stories and as an assignment, she asked students to help five
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the following day, upon which
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
provided us with the grades. In a nutshell, putting more cops on the streets and locking
people
in jail will not help. Until and unless the government policies and
schools
Change noun form
schools'
school's
show examples
course of action does not come into the picture.
Submitted by ARSHDEEP KAUR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: