Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#advances #medicine #life #expectancy #four #years

Recently,the development of

medicine

has been a reason for prolonging human longevity during the past four

years

.It has affected not only elderly people but

also

younger directly.I firmly believe that the benefits of medical improvement surpass its drawbacks. First and foremost,as technology progress has a positive impact on other sectors,it has

also

had a tremendous effect on

medicine

.It is undeniable that there were incurable diseases worldwide about a few

years

ago

such

as blood sugar.Thousands of individuals died of

this

illness.

However

,recently scientists have discovered cures in laboratories that were well-equipped with the latest equipment,with the help of

this

invention numerous patients could live longer.

For example

,in my ,country several people who suffered from blood sugar have been surgery operations successfully over the

last

few

years

That is

why the improvement of

medicine

has contributed a lot to our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Additionally

, one of the main advances in

medicine

is insemination.The number of newly married couples who do not have a child in spite of living together for a few

years

is increasing year by year but the latest invention enables couples to have a baby by doing insemination.

For instance

,hundreds of women have never had a chance to be mothers but by means of

this

method,they can own babies.

Moreover

,it influences the country's population positively in terms of numbers.

Therefore

,it is important to comprehend that each contribution by

medicine

gives people an opportunity to reach their targets and be happier. In conclusion,recent progress in

medicine

has resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four

years

hence

I believe that the advantages are far greater

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than the disadvantages because of the above-mentioned reasons.

Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on Tue Nov 29 2022

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task response

Ensure that every point made is directly linked to the question prompt, and make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages of the issue rather than focusing exclusively on benefits.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure to use more transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

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What are the pros and cons for children of watching television?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. why do you think this is happening? what can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced. give reason and examples.