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Band 4

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
According to researchers, there are many forms of incorporating education at school. The fusion of leisure, or sporting activities into academic learning could be one of those ideas. I strongly advocate
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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this
 thought of making any games or sports
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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educational.
This
 essay will discuss how children can be benefited from
this
 fusion using examples.
Firstly
, the receptiveness of
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 brain is highly grasping to a
live action
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live-action
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, activity or
a visuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
visuals
a visual
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 rather than reading a book.
For example
, in Sweden for many years there was
rule
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a rule
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 passed by the government, that all the toys sold for children should have some educational value.
In addition
, the survey results from
a
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apply
show examples
scientific research conducted on that rule proved that
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 using those toys developed more cognitive skills at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 early age.
Therefore
, it is proven that all games for kids should be of a learning value. On other hand, the most popular pokemon card game in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 children, where they collect cards of different
creature
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creatures
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 to earn points. If, they were replaced by some useful calculations or academic data the students could
benefited
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benefit
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 while playing. The time wasted on these cartoon card games if
interwined
Correct your spelling
intertwined
 with maths, or science data can be used wisely in learning. In conclusion, the goal of implementing education into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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toys and leisure
activties
Correct your spelling
activities
 is
sustainable
Add an article
a sustainable
show examples
 way of using time for kids. Learning while playing is an excellent and effective way of teaching a student.
Submitted by varshar1612 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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