Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. Which view do you agree or disagree?

Most
People
Fix capitalization
people
show examples
think that they don't need to buy
things
by seeing
advertising
Add an article
the advertising
show examples
. Another said their
life
will improve to see new
products
in
Add an article
the advertisement
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. In modern
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
sell by
display
Add an article
the display
show examples
and
also
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
they encourage by advertising new
products
.
Those
Correct pronoun usage
I those
show examples
people
who Don't like advertising
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
them. In recent years
this
is the generation of multimedia and modern technology and different companies sell their
products
by using
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
online selling and computation is
also
more with different industries . They use different kinds of materials to show their stuff like Facebook, Instagram,
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
show examples
, and
billboard
Add an article
a billboard
show examples
on
road side
Correct your spelling
roadside
show examples
banners etc .so most
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
visit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their site and increase their value of selling. They buy many kinds of stuff that they see in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
life
For the first time because in modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
we see most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for the first term .
For example
I
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
our country we did see more
things
in our
life
that abroad population use in their
life
but advertising is the
one
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
that we
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
show examples
from
Change preposition
of from
show examples
the staff we look
.
Change preposition
at .
show examples
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
I don't like online
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
because in
advertise
Change the form of the verb
advertising
show examples
they look
many
Change preposition
at many
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
things
in
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
market they look
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
material and their rate is
also
soo high . So in a
reality
Add a comma
,reality
show examples
they look
one
Change preposition
at one
show examples
face and sell the other . In our country advertising is failed because most public
refuse
Correct subject-verb agreement
refuses
show examples
online marketing and
save
Fix the infinitive
to save
show examples
money.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
rate is high in online marketing but if we buy physical them we look
quality
Change preposition
for quality
show examples
and
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
is
also
not huge . In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
there are more advantages for the
people
we set in abroad and like
Add an article
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
the buy and send their house because of
one click
Add a hyphen
one-click
show examples
there is no time with
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
and like most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products
Add an article
the products
show examples
online
Submitted by maseh12499 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: