The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.
The bar graph indicates data regarding the difficulties people
face
when they migrate to a new country and the problems vary depending on various age groups. Looking at the chart, it is crystal clear that the young community
face
the least difficulty in learning a new
language
which is slightly below 30%
whereas
adults
(35-54) have to put more effects into learning a new
language
35%.
However
, older people (over 55) have to
face
maximum problems in regards to new
language
which is almost 55% that deal with
this
situation. Talking about making friends and accommodation, the population aged between 18-34
face
real challenges to making friends which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
45% of
this
age group
while
for
adults
(35-54) and older
this
is a less challenging situation they are approximately 47% and 22% respectively.
In contrast
to it, finding accommodation has the same challenges for young and
adults
(40%) , but the older communities
face
the least problem in finding a place to live which is only 21%.
To conclude
, it can be said that learning a new
language
is problematic for the older population
while
making friends and finding accommodation is more difficult for both young and
adults
.
Submitted by mandsatbir1 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words face, language, adults with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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