Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.

Without putting the
child
under too much
pressure
he won't succeed in
life
and learn new things.
This
is the reason why
parents
nowadays put a lot of effort on their
children
.
Therefore
,
this
for sure is a positive thing to do.
Firstly
, there are so many reasons that led the
parents
to act in
such
a way.
Such
as, in our society, there are so many spoiled
children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
don't want to do anything and just hang out to waste too much time without any achievements in
life
.
In addition
,
this
pressure
could be the reason for the
child
to succeed in
life
also
,
parents
want their
children
to always be at a high level of creativity and achievement.
Secondly
,
this
positive development could result later in the future,
instead
of just sitting at home without doing anything that helps the
child
to be successful.
Moreover
,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
role is important in raising their
children
and putting too much
pressure
and effort to see them achieve in
life
.
For example
, raising
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
child
from a young age is always better, because they gain so many experiences and tend to learn quickly even though they are under much
pressure
but there is always a positive side
after
this
too much effort from their
parents
. In conclusion, a lot of successful people have become successful because of their
parents
, and behind every successful
child
is a big support from
parents
furthermore
, no one could succeed in
life
if their family didn't put them under
this
pressure
.
Submitted by dialamustafaalwais on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the task prompt and provides a clear argument with relevant examples. Expand on the reasons provided for parents putting pressure on their children and whether it is a negative or positive development.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and coherence. Try to provide a clear introduction that sets up the key points of the essay, and a conclusion that sums up the argument and provides closure.

Your opinion

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