Task 2: Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give yor own opinion.
To begin
, some say that sports are not just time passing or relaxing activities but rather they play a very important role in our society whereas
, some have the exact opposite opinion. In my point of view, I believe that sports are highly beneficial in several manners and not just for fun and relaxation.
Firstly
, even though there are certain games where you are engaged solely, most of them are based on teams therefore
, such
events perform a vital position when it comes to building personalities, logical thinking and teamwork. We can truly learn how to make decisions and work as a group and at the same time the way of respecting
each other. For Wrong verb form
respect
an
instance, there are certain cases where people find themselves more patient and logical Correct article usage
apply
as well as
physically fit soon after started involving
in activities. Wrong verb form
start being involved
Moreover
, this
helps to prevent or reduce communicable diseases such
as diabetes, high blood pressure and
high cholesterol etc.
Correct word choice
apply
Conversely
, the other popular saying is that,
Remove the comma
apply
such
engagements are just for our own leisure and hence
do not apply
a huge impact on the community itself. Engagements like chess and carrom do not include many Verb problem
have
therefore
, one can argue that it is just a way of spending our time leisurely. Nowadays, due to
,globalization people are running after materialistic goods thus
being a method of just entertainment would be sufficient as well.
To conclude
, though there are certain drawbacks and mixed arguments, I believe that sports play a key role at present than
only being a solution for relaxation and mental well-being.Rephrase
rather than
Submitted by vishvaisuranga on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
The response demonstrates a clear understanding of the task. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more effective in framing the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, and the main points are supported with relevant examples. However, there is room for improvement in the coherence of ideas and the use of cohesive devices to connect different parts of the essay.