Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think money does not guarantee happiness. Dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #guarantee #happiness #dicuss

Proponents argue that money brings real happiness

whereas

opponents believe that cash flow does not bring real satisfaction. As far as I am concerned, finances are not the only way to be happy in the world even though there are many other ways which include self-love and caring for loved ones;

however

, will discuss both views and include my opinion. On the one hand, money plays a vital role in everyone's growth. As we are educating ourselves and looking for a high-paid job is all for earning a high income.

Moreover

, earning makes people live more comfortably as per their lifestyle,

while

some think having a lavish house, costly mobile phone, luxurious car and bike makes them happier

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they will spend their whole income on getting top brand products.

Nevertheless

, some public believe that being wealthy gives them all and they can get whatever they wish.

For instance

according to

the research, well-settled people live their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

much easier than middle-class or lower-class communities, as they always work for their daily needs.

Thus

, in the contemporary world, not only living rich but

also

feeding ourselves and our family on

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

basis funds are significant.

On the other hand

, being wealthy does not mean happiness,

although

being healthy brings all wealth

in addition

to spending some joyful time with family.

Therefore

, good health is of the utmost importance for each individual to lead their activity in a cheerful way

along with

those who spend their free time with family and friends, taking care of children and fulfilling their needs and

also

providing an education.

For example

, in recent years, most population spending their cash on hospitals for their treatments to get a healthy life which means fortune is being in good physical condition. Yet, some studies show that people who are materialized tend to be less happy than those who are not.

To conclude

, more spending on brands and showing off does not lead to fulfilment in anyone's life

instead

it is all based on well-being

as well as

on your own happiness. I believe sufficient earning and a healthy lifestyle is the best way to be happy.

Submitted by rajipeter3011 on Fri May 12 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay addresses both views but could benefit from a clearer structure and more precise examples. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a partial response to the task, addressing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the clarity and depth of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples and explanations.

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18Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think money does not guarantee happiness. Dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.