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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planet to live on, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
In the following years, more
money
 should be utilized in order to examine new ways to live on another planet
such
 as Mars,
as a result
 of
surge
Correct article usage
the surge
show examples
difficulties
Change preposition
in difficulties
show examples
 to grow on
Earth
. I strongly disagree because on no account do People gain advantages from that action.
To begin
 with, based on the data conducted by NASA, it clearly explains that there are no other planets that have the same environment as
earth
Correct your spelling
Earth
show examples
. Because of that, researching more and more
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 to tackle the difficult life on the
earth
 is just wasting time,
as well as
money
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it might be wise to use that
money
 in another sector that will give direct solutions.
Consequently
, it will trigger people to conduct
protest
Fix the agreement mistake
protests
show examples
 because their
money
 is spent in the wrong way.
Secondly
, not only do researchers need a lot of
money
 to examine
this
, but it
also
 needs a sophisticated technology that I am totally not sure whether humans can reach in
this
 era,
although
 they have sufficient
money
. In fact,
money
 does not represent the improvement of technology.
For example
, Elon Musk started to devise
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 flying car twenty years ago and his plan get
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
 support from either the government or citizens, but he was stuck and can not continue the project.
Hence
, it will not succeed if only supported by
money
whereas
 people’s thinking
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 not reached the future technology yet.
To sum up
, the remedy for
clear
Replace the word
clearing
show examples
 the issue of more
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
 to live on
earth
 by conduct researching
Change preposition
on place
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to grow outside
earth
 will not give any positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 inhabitants as some reasons that I have explained meticulously in
this
 essay
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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