Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country

Inflation has been plaguing the world these days. When life becomes harder, citizens usually blame it on the government, believing their most essential duty is to resolve financial problems for society.

However

, sociologists might argue the opposite, claiming that there are other issues

which are needed

Wrong verb form

that need to

show examples

be solved by public power. In the following essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I align with the former idea. On the one hand, economic status is deemed the power of a nation so the financial development of a nation is the most significant duty of the authority. Government revenue can be used to improve public facilities or reduce poverty even when the global economic situation is difficult.

For example

, the Taiwan government

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

public funds to secure the stock market during the pandemic. By stabilizing the stock price, foreign investment can be kept in the market

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

which saves small businesses from breaking down.

In other words

, consistently making profits from imports is a contributing factor to a country's success.

On the other hand

, some sociologists believe refining laws, the ones that could violate human rights

in particular

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

also

vital for society.

For instance

, the advancement of technology invites new forms of crime,

such

as cyberbullying. Without adding new rules timely, the crime rates can increase to some degree and cause safety issues.

Nevertheless

, I believe that legislation to fight against crimes is not as urgent as making financial progress in the country. As

this

kind of misbehaviour can be changed in many ways and sometimes amending new laws is not the most effective approach to reducing crimes. Take cyberbullying as an example, properly educating the kids who suffer from it or participate in it can be more efficient than using practical laws to sentence their crimes. In conclusion, despite the fact that some councillors might place pressure on the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

and demand them to change or make new obligations to repel criminals, I opine that the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should focus on the economic growth of the country and

then

consider improving other issues.

Submitted by qooe212156822000 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction provides an overview of both viewpoints, but it is not clearly structured or engaging. The conclusion should summarize the main points and give a clear opinion. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the final paragraph.

task achievement

The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides examples to support each, showing a good level of task response. However, the examples provided need more elaboration and analysis to strengthen the argument. It is also important to clearly state and support your own opinion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
sustainable development
social equality
environmental degradation
cultural heritage
technological innovation
wealth disparity
human development index
holistic approach
quality of life
economic prosperity
healthcare system
education system
cultural diversity
policy decisions

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government have the responsibility to change the situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The reason that most individuals are in debt is due to the overuse and irresponsible use of credit cards. Banks should not issue credit cards unless they are completely sure of an individual’s ability to pay back their debts. To what extent do you agree with this?