IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Throughout history, the importance of a wealthy nation has always been a priority for the leaders. Many officials claim the financial form of development is the most valuable type of promotion for a country.
While
on the other hand
, others consider other sorts of growth as equal to the former. In
this
 essay, both ideas will be discussed separately and, in the end, I will illustrate my agreement with the latter opinion.
To begin
 with, there is growing evidence which supports the fundamental role of economic growth as the main measurement of success in different states.
Firstly
, to provide basic human needs, the authorities should have enough wealth to be able to cover their population’s demands like health care and food supply.
For example
, in many underdeveloped African countries, a large number of the population are suffering from chronic starvation. Without economic progress, there would be no money in these lands assigned for the food program.
As a result
, not only many will starve to death, but
also
 the crime rate and other social challenges would increase.
On the contrary
, some individuals recommend considering other forms of progress as important as economic advancement.
For instance
, social advancement is an undeniable necessity in the modern-day world. If it does not heighten as fast as financial advancement, the result would be catastrophic for society.
For example
, Japan has one of the highest rates of economic progress all around the world,
however
, it does not match with the number of efforts in the benefit of the community’s spiritual needs.
Consequently
, it has one of the highest rates of suicides in the world. In conclusion, despite the irrefutable emphasis on economic growth as the main goal of authorities, there are other forms like social development which are as significant as the former idea
due to
 their considerable effect on human life.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: