IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal some people however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion;

#governments #progress #people #type #country
In recent years, global investigation through economic improvements become on the rise. There is a wildly-held perception that financial
progress
 is the most crucial issue rather than other improvements. From my personal perspective, there are many measurements like educational or health relative ones, being vital for the progressed community as equal as economical. On the one side ,if any country becomes improved economically that can facilitate individual life .By increasing money, people can travel mostly and eat or buy whatever they want ,which means more wealthy individuals and luxurious lives in society .
Moreover
, with financial
progress
 governments can maintain high-quality equipment in all sectors which
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 about more amenities in hospitals and schools or even recreational centres.
Therefore
, economic
progress
 can result in benevolent societies. On the other side,a country with progressed educational system and mentally and physically healthier folks is more likely to improve in all aspects as it contains happier individuals.
However
 ,on the opposite side,it is rarely possible to improve in all fields. Regarding China, an economically progressed country, there are existing many medical problems and highly registered crimes .
This
 may cause in order to lack of an efficient educational system and despite wealthy governments and facilitated institutions , the masses have harsh lives.
Hence
,l stick to the idea that more measurements are necessary for developed countries like attention to mental and physical health and education. In conclusion, a developed society needs to
progress
 in all aspects
such
 as finances, education,health, art, entertainment and so forth. Governments should find approaches that make life more facilitated in terms of maintaining more educated and healthier individuals who can care about society's requirements.
Submitted by zahra_bh17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: