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Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
It is said,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 countryside is pure and fresh but the
cities
 are full of chances and development, so in
this
 ,essay I will discuss the positive and negative since I agree
this
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a negative
impact
. First of all, a number of
people
 every year leave the rural and move to
cities
 to study or
work
 to develop their status and level of study, so
this
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a positive
impact
 on the
people
 who travel to
cities
 to join the universities of new
work
 to improve their goal and achieve it, or to bring a number of harvesters to improve their
work
however
 the moving to
cities
 for study or
work
 will be a good
impact
 for personal status,
for example
, I have left my village to join the university and pour my all income in my land to improve it, so
this
 is good to develop the rural from the experience I got from the city.
On the other hand
, the negative side is vivid since the
people
 leave their
work
 on the farm to find a place in the city, which is reflected in the
producing
Replace the word
production of
show examples
vegetables and livestock products as well, in ,addition to creating overcrowding in the
cities
 and increase on demand on vegetables and rural products with no
people
 are available in the countrysides to provide them, for ,instance the
people
 who had sold their lands to move to the city and buying a car which increases the pollution in the
cities
 and kills the vegetation.
To sum up
, I agree the movement to
cities
 is reflecting a bad
impact
 on the whole world, but in case
this
 movement was for a short period and to reflect the modernise and technical
impact
then
 for sure I will vote for
this
.
Submitted by a.3bbas on

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coherence cohesion
Add a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on whether the movement of rural people to cities is positive or negative.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples and explanations.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and improve the clarity and coherence of your sentences.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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