Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

The question of whether children’s leisure

activities

must be educational has sparked heated debate. Some regard that all

events

should have their aim or purpose,

while

others see entertaining

events

also

beneficial. I personally contend with the idea that leisure

activities

for kids are not necessarily educational, and other

events

are

also

meaningful. In

this

essay, I will elaborate reasons in more detail and provide my personal experience. First of all, educational

events

with certain purposes usually bring pressure and can be easily observed. When parents and educators intentionally

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

students to participate in some particular

activities

, they become unwilling to cooperate and tend to lose their motivation and curiosity on certain topics. Since, it is their nature that people hate to be forced to do something and so are youngsters,

thus

, planned

events

with some goals consistently backfired and ultimately killed the possibility for them.

On the other hand

, facts

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

proven that non-educational

events

can

also

result in educational values. Playing basketball,

for instance

, is seen as a mere recreational sport.

However

, it is well-known that individuals who joined basketball teams have performed better leadership, negotiation skills and teamwork

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

This

is because when a team is playing to win, it grows related skills mentioned that

equipped

Wrong verb form

equip

show examples

themselves, and

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them capable of winning.

Therefore

, we can end up learning from those

events

who

Correct pronoun usage

that we

show examples

regards

Wrong verb form

regarded

show examples

as only

complete

Correct article usage

a complete

show examples

waste of time. Regarding my personal experiences,

while

often seen as a recreational activity, watching

America

Correct your spelling

American

show examples

TV shows (

such

as Friends) has brought unthinkable positive effects on me. Indulging in beloved dramas, my English improved to the next level since I was more familiar with its pronunciation and sentence structure. Surprisingly, it was

events

without a purpose that benefited me. In conclusion, educational

events

do not always reach their original goals

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and possibly

cased

Verb problem

cause

show examples

opposite outcomes.

Additionally

, entertainment can

otherwise

provide valuable educational achievements.

Therefore

activities

for teens should not be detailly planned, and certainly

shall

Verb problem

should

show examples

not always be educational.

Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on Thu Aug 03 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant examples to support the argument. However, there is room for improvement in presenting a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the question.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task by presenting a strong argument and relevant examples. However, there is a need to ensure that all ideas are clearly developed and that the introduction and conclusion directly address the question.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

331 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion?

Some people who are been in person become good citizens later, and it is of often agreed that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangerous of committing a crime. Extent do you agree or disagree?