2/ Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel #outweight #disavantages

Traditionally, high

school

seniors will either pursue college or enter the workforce after graduation.

However

, these days, a third option -

gap

year

, where

students

defer university enrollment to travel or work – is gaining traction.

While

there are admittedly several benefits to

students

, I believe that the negative influences of

this

practice are more glaring. On the one hand, delaying tertiary education for one

year

is advantageous to a certain extent.

First,

gap

year

affords new graduates time to travel and immerse themselves in alien cultures, which helps them enrich their life experiences and hone practical skills.

For example

, when living abroad,

students

will have to adapt quickly to their independent

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and pick up new languages.

Second,

given that most high schools provide inadequate career guidance,

sparing

Verb problem

spending

show examples

several months looking for job opportunities or attending vocational training courses will empower

students

to identify a suitable career path.

Such

experiences would be hardly attainable if high

school

graduates immediately enrol in university and become occupied with their intense study schedules.

On the other hand

, I am convinced that the aforementioned advantages pale in comparison with the significant disadvantages of having a

year

-long break prior to embarking on higher education. A major drawback is that

gap

year

takers may fall behind in their studies

as well as

facing

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

peer pressure, which could possibly drain their self-confidence.

In addition

this

, high

school

seniors can lose momentum, finding it hard to resume their education after a long time being away from formal schooling.

Last

but not least, young people who decide to work

instead

of going to college right away are unlikely to save up a lot of money or cultivate relevant job skills during their

gap

year

, which can be attributed to the fact that jobs available to high

school

leaver are mainly entry-level ones that neither get remuneration well nor teach them anything substantive. In conclusion,

while

taking a

gap

year

is not without certain beneficiaries, I would contend that the given disadvantages do not make it a worthwhile path.

Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on Sun Aug 06 2023

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task response

The essay responds to the prompt effectively, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. However, it could benefit from more in-depth examples and analysis to fully support the points made.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview of the essay and reiterating the main points. However, some areas of the essay could benefit from stronger coherence and organization to enhance the overall structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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2/ Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Write a letter to a friend inviting them to go on vacation with you. Include Why you want to go on holiday Where you want to go Why you want them to come with you

Many people use written language in a less formal way and in a relaxed way than in the past. Why is that so? Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Today , the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?