In the modern world¬, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

#world¬ #animals #food #products #medicines

Processed products are now getting more and more rampant in today's society and

animals

as a source of

meat

and other items like medicines and clothes might not be required in today's setting. I do not agree with

this

statement and in

this

essay, I shall explain why. Having invented a different approach to how we address the shortage of food is a sight to behold. The cultivation of

meat

in the laboratory is ingenious and has its merits: fewer animal killings,

therefore

, endangered

animals

could have a chance to populate. But there is always a different side of the coin.

Animals

that are not endangered would increase

Correct word choice

and, thus

show examples

thus

, are hard to contain.

Nonetheless

, we do not know the long-term implications these genetically modified products

does

Verb problem

have

show examples

on our bodies. Bill Gates,

for example

, funded research for lab-grown

meat

to counter famine in certain areas of the globe. And it has been said that

this

meat

is ready to roll out anytime

this

year. Undeniably, it

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

been studied by our scientists for years;

however

, human testing

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

not been conducted yet. What I fear is that the whole world might be considered as the test subjects and whatever the results might be, it would be used for future reference. Definitely, the disadvantage would reach as far as the medicines and items of clothing.

Animals

are an integral source for the creation of drugs. Lard (animal fat),

for instance

, is used by medical laboratory scientists when they isolate and test certain bacteria and fungi. Without the animal byproduct, it probably not have the same effect. Another example would be the silkworm where the source of silk comes from. There are counterparts for

this

however

, not entirely the same.

To conclude

although

this

contribution of scientists to society is not entirely frowned upon, the outcome and effects, in the long run, are unknown so far. There might be serious side effects that the future generation will suffer

instead

Submitted by chalabarite14 on Tue Aug 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences build upon it to strengthen the argument. Use more cohesive devices to create a seamless flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand on each point with relevant examples and evidence. Do not introduce new ideas without proper explanation or examples. Refer back to the question throughout the essay to keep your response focused and relevant.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

326 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world¬, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area.How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. do you agree or disagree?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.