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Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Nowadays the
government
 focus on improving the economic situation of the
country
 but contrary to that some gentleman
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 that there are a lot of other important milestones that need to be
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
by
Change preposition
on by
show examples
 the member of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 office holder.
This
 essay agrees that
along with
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 the officials need to take into account
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other important matters like
health
,
education
 and
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
 of the public.
Firstly
, among other important
tasks
Add a comma
,tasks
show examples
 the
government
 give more priority
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
economy
 of the
country
. The motive is to have high reserves so that
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
should
Verb problem
can
show examples
 perform its business dealings with other
countries
 without any pressure and
also
 economically strong
country
 has its currency at the top among other fellow
countries
.
For instance
,
election
Add an article
the election
show examples
 campaign of different political parties includes economic reforms to gain maximum votes.
And
Correct word choice
Hence
show examples
hence
 political
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
 after winning
election
Correct article usage
the election
show examples
 want to make their
country
economic
Change the word
economically
show examples
 strong
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so they have
this
 priority at the top of the list.
Along with
 that, there
other
Add a missing verb
are other
show examples
 important
tasks
 that need to be done by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 for
Correct article usage
the wellbeing
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 and are discussed below.
Secondly
, some
people
argive
Correct your spelling
argue
 that
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
,
education
 and security of the
people
 are
also
 equally important as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Countries
 having improved
health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 are considered among the advanced
countries
.
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
education
 changes the fate of the
countries
 and its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 so it should be at the top of the list too.
Along with
 that, if there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace in a
country
people
 will feel safe to invest money and do business.So public servants need to equally treat all of the above
tasks
.
For instance
,
according to
 the
survey
Add a comma
,survey
show examples
 90% of
people
 think that free
education
 and free
health
 services are more important than giving free money to
people
. In my opinion, I think
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should do
best
Correct pronoun usage
its best
show examples
 to provide all basic facilities to their citizens and use
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
caliber
Change the spelling
calibre
show examples
 for all other necessities as they do for
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
To conclude
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, some
people
 say that for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 other
tasks
 are equally important as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and I totally agree with that.
Submitted by msohaibkhan97 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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