Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that throughout history and still today,
music
remains the shared language of humanity. I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in
this
essay. On the one hand, we live in a globalised era
also
our technology is developed, we can listen to
music
anywhere and anytime.
Moreover
, in the past,
music
used various things
such
as treatment, stopping war and assisting to make folks relax.
In addition
, nowadays, many communities listen to
music
, and they find solace in that.
For example
, In South Korea, there is a pop culture called K-pop and a famous singer named BTS who made songs from their experiences and encouraged others so that numerous world individuals listen to their songs and feel comfortable, which leads to peace and relaxation.
For
this
reason, I believe that
music
has power in people's minds and some
music
is used for treatment.
This
phenomenon remains the shared expression of humanity because the majority of communities listen to BTS
music
, and they want to learn Korean so it is beneficial to South Koreans.
On the other hand
, some countries use
music
to control their citizens because they make people loyal so that they dominate their nation permanently.
For instance
, In North Korea, they make
music
only for their dictator because if they make various
music
genres, that dictator will kill them.
Furthermore
, most of their citizens do not talk about opera or musicals because they have no freedom.
Therefore
, these kinds of nations do not share a language of humanity, which is a tragic situation. In conclusion, I partially agree with
this
topic. Today, we can listen to
music
and communicate with each other using
music
language.
Conversely
, some countries cannot listen to any
music
they must listen to
music
about their dictators. So, we should try to assist those kinds of nations because we are global citizens, and they deserve to rights listen to various
music
.
Submitted by livewire53 on

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Example Variety
Consider diversifying your examples to not only bolster your argument but also to showcase a wider understanding of the topic across different cultures and genres.
Language Use
To enhance clarity and impact, periodically review your essay for potential improvements in sentence structure and vocabulary. A varied and accurate use of language contributes significantly to the overall effect of your essay.
Balanced Argument
When introducing opposing viewpoints, make sure to provide a balanced examination. This includes allotting a comparable amount of analysis and evidence to each side of the argument to maintain an objective tone.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay, clearly stating your position and the structure you will follow. This helps the reader understand your perspective from the beginning.
Example Usage
You've used very relevant and specific examples, such as BTS and the situation in North Korea, to support your arguments. This makes your essay engaging and persuasive.
Conclusion
Your conclusion skillfully wraps up your discussion, reinforcing your stance and encouraging further thought on the subject. This is a key aspect of a strong essay.
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