You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter, ● ask what types of membership are available and what the prices are ● ask what activities are available ● and ask what the joining procedure is

#gym #neighbourhood #manager #membership #prices #activities #procedure

Dear Sir or Madam, I am an active member of Navruz Street and I am writing to request you about the new fitness club.

To begin

with, I would like to know more about the membership in your sports centre. I mean how old a person should be to join it and how long the training will

last

Also

, it would be of great help if you informed me about the prices and the working hours.

In addition

, I would be interested to find out what kind of activities and facilities for adults are in your club. Since I am keen on boxing, it would be better if there was a punching bag there. I would appreciate it if you could provide me with the necessary documents to apply. I would

also

be grateful if you supplied me with discounts, so I would recommend others to train in your sports club. I look forward to hearing from you with a positive response to my letter. Yours sincerely, Jim Kerry

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Fri Sep 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main topic with supporting details to strengthen coherence.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of linking words to improve the logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task equally to more fully answer the prompt and enhance task response.

task achievement

Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter, avoiding overly casual language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

169 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter, ● ask what types of membership are available and what the prices are ● ask what activities are available ● and ask what the joining procedure is

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most importaint aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion