17.Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, develop countries should give other types of help to poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Wealthier
nations
are in great efforts to support
poorer ones in solving famine by providing them with financial support
. However
, it is of the opinion that this
type of help does not work, therefore
, more effective alternatives are required. Personally, I am inclined to agree with this
notion.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that financial aid can provide immediate relief in times of crisis, like natural disasters and health emergencies. It can help save lives and mitigate suffering. For example
, locking down during the COVID-19 pandemic has exhausted the global economy, especially in underdeveloped and developing countries. Thus
, money received from rich nations
can help citizens from poorer ones meet basic needs such
as clothes, food, medicine and accommodation. Additionally
, in some cases, monetary assistance can help poorer countries develop basic infrastructure, including building roads, hospitals and schools, contributing to long-term development.
On the other hand
, I believe that poorer nations
should be provided with other effective types of support
to address the complex issue of poverty
. Firstly
, it is essential to have a quality education
which is considered a sustainable pathway to economic development. A quality education
can equip individuals with the necessary skills and knowledge that can improve their lives and contribute to their communities. When children access education
, they can break down the cycle of poverty
by securing their job opportunities and making informed decisions about health and well-being. It is expected by the United Nations
that the GDP of poor regions may increase by 70% if all children can access education
. Secondly
, rich nations
can transfer modern technology to poorer ones as a form of support
. It is true that the adoption of advanced machines in the farming sector can boost agricultural productivity. This
in turn can help them not only secure domestic food safety but also
promote exporting, leading to an increase in overall
income. To illustrate, a statistical report from the World Bank revealed that thanks to modern technology applied in the agricultural sector, the crop yields of Southern Asia have increased by 6 times during the last
40 years, contributing to the significant reduction of poverty
in this
area.
In conclusion, although
financial aid can solve the problem of poverty
to some extent, I firmly assert that providing poorer nations
with quality education
and modern technology is a more sustainable solution, helping these countries overcome impoverishment in the long term.Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Practice paraphrasing the essay question in your introduction to showcase a wider range of vocabulary.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Body Paragraphs
Consider developing your examples further by providing specific data or quotes when possible to strengthen your argument.
Conclusion
Ensure a clear position throughout your essay, and restate this stance clearly in your conclusion for a stronger impact.
Structure
You have effectively structured your essay, making your argument easy to follow.
Content
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt with clear and relevant examples.
Vocabulary
You've demonstrated an excellent range of vocabulary related to the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.