some people say that big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. do you agree or disagree ?
Certain groups of citizens ponder that high income is essential to expect to do fewer tasks. In my opinion, satisfaction is more important than a high paid salary. In
this
essay, I will explain the point of view along with
some relative examples and supportive points.
To commence with, there are numerous advantages of job satisfaction. Firstly
, they do not leave their jobs and work as long as possible because nowadays most individuals leave their jobs because of the high pressure of production. According to
a business management survey, more than 85% of people leave their jobs just because of overload work. Secondly
, if they get flexible hours then
they can easily balance their performance life and family time and enjoy some key festivals like Navratri, Diwali and many more also
attend family functions & and events. Lastly
, they get some extra benefits such
as going and enjoying some picnics with their family members and friends and also
spending quality time with them.
Nevertheless
, there are some disadvantages of a high paid salary. In that generation human beings needed to put in some extra hours and waste their time in the workplace. Additionally
, they have suffered some mental hurdles and become less patient in their life as a ramification they do not give their children proper moments and are always worried about their future which is not good for their health.
To give an overview, citizens should earn more money for their future but also
they need to find flexibility and their industry hence
they easily balance their endeavours and relationship life.Submitted by er.lerulal on
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Task Response
The essay partly addresses the prompt in terms of explaining the importance of job satisfaction over high salary, but there is a lack of depth and development. Exam-takers should ensure a more comprehensive response by considering various perspectives, providing detailed examples, and evaluating the implications of each standpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure in the essay is somewhat clear, but there are certain points that lack coherence and connection to the main argument. To improve coherence and cohesion, exam-takers should ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific idea and that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary but lacks precision in expression. To enhance lexical resource, candidates should strive for more sophisticated and precise vocabulary choices, as well as greater variety and accuracy in collocations and idiomatic language.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range in the essay is sufficient, but there are instances of errors in sentence structure and tense usage. To strengthen grammatical range, candidates should aim for more complex sentence structures, accurate use of tense and verb forms, and consistent punctuation and capitalization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.