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Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
People hold radically different views about whether to share important
information
 in science,
business
, and academic research.
Although
 some may believe it will benefit society as a whole, others argue that it is better to keep
information
 confidential. Undeniably, we live in an era where innovation and technology take place almost every single day. A
business
 may require
information
 on their client’s preferences in order to improve their service or products. Those data are
also
 instrumental in enhancing the quality of our lives, as they may become a vital resource for developing new technology.
For example
, with the advent and advancement in medical technology, every patient can now ease their pain during the recovery process.
On the other hand
, disclosing some valuable
information
 can be treacherous for some reasons. A case in point is that you can’t confirm how the
information
 will be used. It may be the chance that where the data is stored is intentionally or accidentally leaked and sent to outsiders, or even worse, being hacked by terrorists,
thus
 posing a threat to the safety of your life.
Additionally
, the
business
 competitor may steal your database and surpass it. In conclusion,
while
 sharing
information
 freely can have a positive impact on
business
 and
thus
 change our lives, I believe that the cons outweigh the pros since we can’t handle the loss of personal
information
 being leaked to people who cannot be trusted.
As a result
,
such
 action should be restricted in certain conditions and require authorities to censor it.
Submitted by lyc435937 on

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Task Achievement
Expand on the reasons why sharing information can benefit society.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization and clarity of your ideas.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentence forms.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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