Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Nowadays, the
crime
rate is rising. By taking a look at the problem, we’ll notice several reasons that affect the issue. The most prominent cause is a lot of ex-convicts return to commit crimes after they get out of prison. In
this
essay, I’ll focus on discussing the causes, motivations and solutions of why ex-prisoners back to breaking laws again.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons guilty people return for villainy is how the government deals with these prisoners. When any guilty person
does
Verb problem
commits
show examples
a
crime
, he/she is placed in prison with other criminals. By doing that, the gov. encourages him/her to get new evil thoughts from inmates.
Also
, it gives ex-prisoners the feeling that they belong to these people, to the
crime
field.
Secondly
, how society treats ex-convicts. When they get out of prison, the community
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
determined that they will stay criminals forever. People don’t look at them as citizens. They stay conscious and expect them to commit a new
crime
. wherefore, they don’t have anything to lose. They don’t have friends or jobs.
Finally
, ex-criminals feel nostalgia for the world of
crime
. Crimes make the lawbreaker excited and thrilled.
In addition
, offence gives them power as they are breaking laws.
Furthermore
, they cannot lose the only power they have.
Submitted by moaznashy123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas in a clearer and more logical manner.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and interesting.
grammatical range accuracy
Improve the accuracy of your grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: