Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is irrefutable that senior citizens are the most vulnerable members of our society and are often financially supported in enormous developed economies. In numerous nations around the world, elderly
people
accrue funds for themselves that give them a sense of independence and curtail the financial burden on a province.
In this
contemporary era, people
prefer to become financially independent by accumulating funds for their golden years. It gives them a sense of independence and self-respect. The government
of Canada encourages pupils for financial planning so that their citizens can lead a stress-free and luxurious old age.
Moreover
, this
approach is beneficial to curtail the financial budget of a country. Instead
of distributing money among senior citizens, the government
can invest these funds for development such
as infrastructure refurbishment. This
would captivate the influx of tourists, hence
, a country's economy will boost. A multitude of dollars were invested by the government
of Indonesia to restore their historical buildings which attract thousands of visitors every year. As a result
, their revenue increased precipitously.
Financial support to older generations is their fundamental right and the onus of the legitimate agencies. This
is because retired people
have paid huge tariffs during their working years and contribute toward a country's development to a great extent. Therefore
, it is the obligation of the financial ministry to pay them back for their hard-earned money.
Even though elderly people
have paid a significant amount of taxes to the government
, I firmly believe that becoming financially independent not only gives a sense of freedom and self-respect but also
reduces the financial burden on a nation. Thus
, they should take care of their monetary needs by themselves and not rely on legal affirms.Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on
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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed and that the essay discusses both views in a balanced manner. Present a clear opinion in the introduction and conclude the essay by restating the opinion and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
Organize the ideas in a more coherent manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic and that sentences and ideas are linked logically throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and expressions. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choices to enhance lexical diversity.
grammatical range
Work on improving sentence structure, punctuation, and word choice to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use a mix of simple and complex sentences.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.