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Band 3

Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little difference to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

#space #travel #moon #giant #leap #mankind #people #achievement #difference #lives
For some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
 advanced countries,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are spending a
lot
Correct your spelling
large
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 amount of money to do research in
space
exploration
.
Nevertheless
, there is an argument exploring
space
 is a waste of money, seeing that an amount of money can solve the poverty problem and
economycs
Correct your spelling
economics
economic
 problems. In spite of that, I disagree
this
 achievement is a little different to our daily lives. There are several reasons for governments in various countries do
space
 research. One of them is
space
exploration
 can give important information from satellites about threats that can endanger
Earth
,
for instance
, meteorites and comets that are heading toward
Earth
. If there is no information on
this
 threat can lead to
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 that can impact massive destruction. Other than that, satellites can give information like weather conditions and storms. Some countries can get alerted if there are any storms that can harm citizens.
Furthermore
, the purpose of
space
exploration
 is we cannot foresee the distant future. There are several problems that make the
earth
dying
Wrong verb form
die
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. The amount of population that increases make
earth
 cannot be lived forever for human.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
space
exploration
 is needed for humankind to survive because we cannot foresee the distant future of the
Earth
.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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task achievement
You need to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with a well-developed introduction and conclusion. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language in your essay. This will make your arguments more sophisticated and engaging.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure. Avoid making errors and strive for more complex and accurate sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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