The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
There is
a
assortment of evidence that the authorities should finance Change the article
an
on
civil Change preposition
apply
services
rather than in arts industries, show
businesses as they affect on wastage of budget. I strictly agree with Wrong verb form
showing
this
fact and i
will discuss Change the capitalization
I
about
my viewpoints in Remove the preposition
apply
following
paragraphs.
Correct article usage
the following
To begin
with, nowadays, one of the most common factors why many folks during the
sudden emergency occasions, are not able to get first Correct article usage
apply
aids
from public Fix the agreement mistake
aid
services
, is the deficit of local healthcare faclities
or ambulance cars. There is Correct your spelling
facilities
the
sudden increase in Correct article usage
a
death
rate Add an article
the death
due to
the issues above. Administrations have to take on their responsibility and have to fund huge amount
of resources Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
on
public works.
Regarding arts, yes, Change preposition
for
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
individuals
enjoy watching and listening some movies, shows, Change preposition
of individuals
stand ups
and Add a hyphen
stand-ups
musics
, but their careers Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
are
Change the verb form
also depend
also
depend from
civil Change preposition
on
services
because any work they do requires health, safety and energy. For example
,in 1990, when
soviet comedian Artur Zakaryan, during his performance in Moscow suddenly lost Rephrase
apply
his
consciousness, and immediate first aid from doctors Correct pronoun usage
apply
were
given, Change the verb form
was
consequently
they saved his life. Moreover
, It is common knowledge that Correct article usage
the show
show
industry is Change the verb form
shows
well paid
branch, as they get paid well from pay-per-views, advertisements and other extra marketing Add a hyphen
well-paid
services
.
To sum up
, i
Change the capitalization
I
totally
keen on investing Add a missing verb
am totally
on
public Change preposition
in
services
, as i
think that Change the capitalization
I
show
industry has enough Correct article usage
the show
of
resources to feed themselves and organise their events and concerts. We have to always remember, that we live comfy by dint of doctors, local Change preposition
apply
governs
and Replace the word
governments
securities
.Fix the agreement mistake
security
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly state your position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve your grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
