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Band 5.5

In many countries today, many highly qualified graduates struggle to find employment. What factors may have caused this situation? What can be done about it?

#countries #graduates #struggle #employment #factors #situation
Nowadays, technology is rapidly changing the trend of jobs among youngsters. The majority of the populace is unemployed even after graduating from recognized universities. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will delve into the myriad reasons behind
this
 issue
along with
 the various measures to overcome the problem. There are multiple factors which create the situation of
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 jobless population in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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society, after achieving good grades
from
Change preposition
in
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colleges
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college
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.
To begin
 with, the invention of robotic machines in the economy leads to cutting down the minimum requirement of labour in the market.
In other words
, human beings are no
more
Rephrase
longer
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 needed in the working fields, as the tasks are achieved effectively and efficiently through computer brains.
For instance
, the fast food sector like McDonald's, Subway, Real Fruit Bubble, and Tim Hortons, have installed machines to place an order, which
further
 has reduced the staff.
Consequently
, the youth is getting awarded from educational institutes for a better future,
instead
, they are sitting free with no jobs in the workplace. In order to cope with
this
 type of situation, the government should take significant steps by minimizing the
inventions
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invention
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 of robots in the workplace.
In addition
 to
this
, authorities must
also
 set the maximum retirement age
as well as
 develop higher qualified job vacancies to upbringing graduates.
Hence
, the scenario can be reversed if the introduction of machinery products is altered. In a nutshell,
although
 the number of skilled personnel is reaching its peak every day, employment is decreasing.
Nevertheless
, it is
due to
 the technical types of equipment launched in the industrial era, but
this
 issue can be resolved by creating a consumerist marketplace
that is
 the mushroom growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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.
Submitted by parneetbilling712 on

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a more cohesive and logical structure.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of lexical resources.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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