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Band 3

You recently made an online purchase and the product was not the same as the description What you purchased and when? Exactly how it is different to the website description? How you would like the company to fix the problem?

#purchase #product #description #website #company
Dear support team, I am writing
this
 letter to express my disappointment
on
Change preposition
with
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 the online purchase I made
in
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on
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 your website. On Oct 30 , during
Halloween
Correct article usage
the Halloween
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 sale, I ordered two pairs
Black
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of Black
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 and white denim jeans
of
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apply
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waist 32 and length 40,and
also
 purchased blue sneakers
of
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in
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 size 8. The package was delivered
week
Add an article
a week
the week
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after
Rephrase
later
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, I received the jeans in
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
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 length and
color
Correct article usage
the color
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
not
Add a missing verb
did not
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 match
that
Correct word choice
what
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 I originally ordered
in
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on
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 your website. I am extremely disappointed with the items I received.
This
 kind of service will
blinder
Replace the word
blind
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you
Change the pronoun
your
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 business and you might
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 existing and potential customers. I would highly appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could replace the products with
original
Correct article usage
the original
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 products I have ordered. If it’s not possible to
replace
Correct pronoun usage
replace it
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 , please refund
full
Correct article usage
the full
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 amount for the products. Thank you for your support and understanding on
this
 matter. Expecting a prompt response from you. Yours faithfully, Dillirao.
Submitted by ssssss9999 on

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Task Response
Make sure to address all the given prompts in the question. In this case, you have provided information about what you purchased and when.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and flows logically. However, you could improve the cohesion by using transitional words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary with words like 'disappointment', 'potential', and 'refund'. However, you can further enhance your lexical resource by using more varied and precise vocabulary.
Grammatical Range
Your grammar is mostly accurate, but there are a few errors and awkward phrasings. Take care to review your sentence structures and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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