Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both th

Students
have different opinions about whether to learn new
subjects
in addition
to
university
subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or just stick to
university
subjects
and dedicate all their time to them.
While
focusing on
university
subjects
is of great importance, I personally believe that learning new skills could be really beneficial for
students
. On the one hand, materials which pupils learn at
university
can help them improve their knowledge and broaden their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
For instance
, lessons like mathematics and physics could be
thought provoking
Add a hyphen
thought-provoking
show examples
and
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
students
how to think about solving problems.
Furthermore
,
subjects
like science could assist individuals in real life when dealing with various problems.
However
concentrating on
university
materials could have other advantages too, If pupils get good marks at
university
, it could improve their self-confidence and
motivates
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
show examples
them to make more efforts and make progress.
However
, it could assist their career prospect in the future.
Thus
, it is vital for science seekers to pay attention to the
subjects
they learn at
university
.
On the other hand
, learning other skills
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of the
university
could have various advantages.
Students
can dedicate some of their free time to
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
more knowledge in various sectors like
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and software. Since technology has been an inevitable part of our lives, it is crucial for individuals to be compatible with technology and gain as much
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information as they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
. Other than that, they can learn one or two of the live languages which is appealing for them.
Finally
, all these acquired skills would help them in future to be a more successful person.
Hence
,
students
should be motivated
in pursuing
Change preposition
to pursue
show examples
various
subjects
besides
university
to improve their
prospect
Replace the word
prospective
show examples
careers. In conclusion, I can understand that it is important for
students
to get good marks
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
university
subjects
, but it seems to me that learning novel
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
could make them more productive in future life
Submitted by golriiz23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of sentence types.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: