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Band 3

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities.

#people #neighbors #cities
A lot of
people
 do not know or make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
neighbours
 in large cities. The problems need
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
 and
take
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 care of by humans. Nowadays, the world is more and more developed, all of the
people
 are very busy with their job. If they have free time, they will spend
this
 time on family. So, they may forget about their neighbour and do not care about that.
besides
 that, with the new trends,
people
 would rather have a peaceful
life
 than a noisy
life
. They try to avoid making friends or chatting with
neighbours
 because
people
 do not want to be told a bad story by their
neighbours
. Some families think that their
neighbours
 are too talkative for them
t
Correct your spelling
to
 make friends or take care.
In contrast
, if many
people
 do not know their
neighbours
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long time when they live there,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 will
appear
Verb problem
be
show examples
 some
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
, we live alone in your house. Suddenly you are sick or there is a happening in the house ( crime, fire). From that , if you make friends with
neighbours
, they will help
us
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
.
Moreover
, we should have a good relationship with families living near our house, we will not be alone and uninteresting.
To sum up
, in my opinion, I think
people
 should know their
neighbours
 to help
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 or have
assistant
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
.
Further
, have a friendly
life
, all of the
people
 will love their
life
. we should change, adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 environment, more outgoing.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has an adequate introduction and conclusion but lacks a clear and coherent structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically sequenced sentences. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. The essay does not fully address all parts of the prompt, and the ideas presented are not fully developed. Provide a more detailed exploration of the topic and include specific examples to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
What to do next:
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