Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, more people take care
Change preposition
of a
a
Change preposition
of a
lot
of their children. They said that children are now less active in their free time
than in the past. More individuals think that the solution is sports
lessons must be compulsory in school. In this
essay, I will explain why I agree with this
point of view and show all reasons
for that.
Correct article usage
the reasons
Firstly
, we need to know that physical education is the lesson helps
us keep balance. On a normal day, we add calories to our body so much, that if we can't find a solution to burn it, we will be overweight. Correct pronoun usage
that helps
Moreover
, playing sports
help
us haveCorrect subject-verb agreement
helps
nice
Correct word choice
good
health
, and to maintain a healthy lifestyle, we need to do
exercise more and more. But we don't have Unnecessary verb
apply
time
to play sports
or do exercise, so the time
in school is a good time
to learn it. Therefore
, sports
lessons must be compulsory in school.
Curently, physical education teaches us more and more than keep a nice health
. It teaches us how to discipline and work with others as a team. Teamwork is the important thing we need to learn when we were
Wrong verb form
are
a
children, playing Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
sports
which can play with a team can improve us a lot
of teamwork. Moreover
, if people are unfit, the government will have to spend a lot
of money on medical care in the future. It is a waste of money and we need to solve it by doing more exercise to improve a
nice Remove the article
apply
health
.
In my opinion, schools need to spend a lot
of money on sports
facilities to attract students who can find interest in sports
. If we can do it, more students will enjoy physical education time
.
In conclusion, sport is an important lesson we need to learn to have a good lifestyle and nice
Correct word choice
good
health
because health
is so important when it has a problem, it is so hard to resolve it.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task. While you mentioned agreement to the statement, it would strengthen your essay to also consider and rebut the counter-arguments.
task achievement
Work on expanding and fully developing your ideas. Clear and comprehensive responses are necessary for a higher band. Utilize multiple paragraphs to expand on each point.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to support your arguments. These examples should be specific and directly related to your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear and logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Both should be present and clearly state your main arguments and summarizations, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is supported with explanations or examples. Avoid unsubstantiated statements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
