In many socities, there is a growing emphasis on individualism , with people priortizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests.

#socities #emphasis #individualism #people #goals #desires #interests

Working and focusing on a career is an important aspect of every individual's life. Some people put their personal goals over collective interests.

This

essay will explain its effects on individuals and on society. People

work

consistently and focus on their goals.

To begin

with, youngsters

work

constantly to build their careers. They

work

overtime to fulfil their needs and desires.

For instance

, if an independent person wants to buy a house, they need to

work

accordingly

to fulfil their dream.

Secondly

, people like to

work

alone because they want to prove their ability to society and earn respect. They like to compete with their coworkers and show them their skills to earn respect.

Moreover

, it leads to personal gain because after working frequently and fulfilling their own interest, it has positive effects on the company goals and leads to the promotion of a person. Every action has its consequences. First and foremost, companies get reviews on Google because of their best employee. Working alone and performing well benefits the company and helps them to grow their business.

Moreover

, businesses earn a lot of money in the fiscal year.

For instance

, if an employee engages at the workplace in the restaurant to provide the best customer service, the general public refers the restaurant to their loved ones.

This

also

called word of mouth.

To conclude

, I would like to say that hardwork is key to success. Working alone with full determination leads to success because of no distractions and helps to build a bright future.

Moreover

, it helps the business to grow and helps them to earn more in the fiscal year.

Submitted by lakshaybhatia1350 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the given prompt. State the purpose of the essay clearly and maintain a clear focus throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the essay in a logical and coherent manner, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to express your ideas. Also, pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many socities, there is a growing emphasis on individualism , with people priortizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests.

Your opinion

89.The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

Millions of dollars are spent on space research evey year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30 as this is best both for individual and society. do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before entering university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.