Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures can government and individuals take to respond to this problem.

Nowadays,fresh
water
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
a limited
resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
resource
show examples
in some parts of the world.There are several
reasons
for
this
problem,and various measures could be taken by government and individuals to improve the situation. There are a variety of different factors that have led to the major cause being that
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that fresh
water
is cheap.The second
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
is that
people
think that fresh
water
is renewable energy. Despite some obvious
reasons
described above,there are several actions that the governments could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
.the major
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solution would be to raise
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bill
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fresh
water
.
People
think that fresh
water
is cheap so
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do not cherish it.
For example
,
people
like to shower for a long time,if the bill
raise
Wrong verb form
is raised
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
will reduce the time of shower so it can make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
cherish the freshwater.The second measure would be for governments to limit
people
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using fresh
water
each family will get a limit to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
fresh
water
,it could
warning
Wrong verb form
warn
show examples
people
that
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
nowadays is important
teach
Correct word choice
and teach
show examples
people
not to waste it. In conclusion.despite some obvious
reasons
, various measures can be taken to tackle the problem of fresh
water
has been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a limited
resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
resource
show examples
,
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay demonstrates some relevant points but lacks depth and development in some areas. The introduction is weak and the conclusion is abrupt. Support for the main points is limited, and the logical structure is somewhat confusing. More specific examples and detailed explanations are needed to fully address the task prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is a bit confusing, with some ideas lacking coherence and clear progression. The introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened to better frame the essay. Additionally, the connection and transition between ideas need improvement for better cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay displays a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. More varied and accurate vocabulary is required to enhance lexical resource. Additionally, more sophisticated and specialized terminology related to the topic could be used to strengthen the essay's lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. The use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures need improvement for accuracy. More complex and varied sentence structures can also add depth to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: