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Band 1

Number of tourists visiting Caribbean island(2010-2017)

#tourists #caribbean #island
The graph depicted shares the data about
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of tourists visiting
Correct article usage
the caribbean
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caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
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island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 from
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 2010 to 2017. The people are categorized into two groups
that is
, one who
visit
Correct subject-verb agreement
visits
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 the
island
 and others who stay on cruise. As seen in the picture,there is an
overall
 increase in
count
Add an article
the count
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 of visitors who prefer to stay
in
Change preposition
on
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 cruise
shoips
Correct your spelling
ships
rathen
Correct your spelling
rather
 in
island
Add an article
the island
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.There seems to be
an
Change the article
a
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 gradual elevation of visitors who stay on cruise ships from 2013 to 2017. Percentage of people who visit
carribean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
 and stay as visitors is not much. There is no remarkable increase and its been a downslide in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of tourists who stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
island
Add an article
the island
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 as
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 between 2015
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2017. The total number of tourists who visit
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
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island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 has seen a clean elevation point from 1 million to 3.5 million from period 2010 to 2017.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
The essay is mostly relevant to the task, but it lacks specific details and thorough analysis of the data.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is somewhat logical, but there is a need for clearer introduction and conclusion for better coherence.
lexical resource
The vocabulary and language used are adequate, but there is a need for more precise and varied language to enhance the essay's quality.
grammatical range
There are several grammar issues such as tense consistency and sentence structure. Work on using more complex grammatical structures for a better range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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